I have lived with cerebral palsy since birth. I use a power wheelchair and a communication device, and I need assistance with everyday activities. My experience of independence is different from someone who can get up, get dressed, and walk out the door without thinking twice. But my desire to direct my own life is no different. I want to decide what I wear, where I go, what I work towards, and how I spend my time. Moving into my own apartment brought that desire into sharper focus. It was exciting and sometimes scary, but it reminded me that independence is not about doing everything alone. It is about having a life that feels like your own.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines independence as freedom from the control, influence, or support of others. That sounds reasonable until we consider how many people without disability depend on others every day. We rely on partners, family, colleagues, friends, and our financial circumstances in ways we rarely label as dependence. We know life is interconnected, yet when a person with disability needs help with everyday activities, their independence can be questioned before anyone has bothered to understand what it means to them.
Why do we measure one person's independence by their ability to do something alone, and another person's by how well they direct their own life?
Independence has many dimensions. Financial independence might mean being able to pay your own way. Professional independence could mean having the confidence to challenge a decision or pursue a career on your own terms. Emotional independence might mean no longer seeking someone else's approval to feel good about yourself.
For people with disabilities, independence can also depend on whether the right opportunities exist. This is where organisations like Achieve play an important role. By getting to know the people they support, understanding their individual goals and respecting what matters to them, Achieve works to create opportunities for people to make choices, develop skills, explore interests, and take part in their communities. The aim is to help each person build a life that reflects their own ambitions and aspirations, rather than expecting everyone to achieve the same milestones.
There is a particular satisfaction in deciding because it feels right for you, rather than because someone else has approved it. There is confidence in knowing your opinion matters, and frustration when people assume they know your limits before you have had the chance to discover them yourself. Being spoken to through a companion rather than directly, having everyday decisions made on your behalf or missing out on an opportunity because someone assumes it will be too difficult can quietly erode a person's sense of independence.
Of course, independence is not about rejecting help. I need help, and I know how important it is to make everyday life possible. What matters is the difference between someone enabling you to do something and someone taking over because it is easier for them. Genuine support respects the person, allows them to make decisions, take reasonable risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. Helping with everyday life does not give anyone else ownership of it.
Perhaps those of us with and without disability have more in common here than we think. Most of us want to be taken seriously, trusted to make decisions and given room to grow. We want the freedom to change our minds, pursue something unexpected and get things wrong without having our capabilities called into question.
Independence is not a finish line or a test that everyone must pass in the same way. Our needs, relationships, and circumstances change throughout our lives. For me, it is about shaping my life, pursuing my ambitions and being recognized for who I am, rather than being defined by what I cannot do.
Maybe the real question is not whether someone is independent enough, but whether they have the freedom to live in a way that matters to them. Independence is not one lifestyle, achievement, or ability. It is a deeply personal experience, and it deserves to be defined by the person living it.